| lina | 29 | queer | a work in progress |

naiad(she/her or they/them)
Time ago

I can't sleep but Listen


Imagine you're given a plant for your birthday. At first, your parents help you care for it because you are too small, but in the end everyone knows this plant belongs to you. And everyone else has their own special plant they tend to, and you have yours. Watering it becomes a steady routine, and as it grows you're excited to see what it looks like. Will it bloom? Will there be fruits? You have a vague idea of what your plant is going to grow into from the words of other people, who took care about their own plants. But your plant is completely unique! What will it be!

So you wait. And your plant doesn't bloom. Maybe it's the wrong soil, and you don't know where to repot it, maybe you are too busy with something else and forget to water it. Maybe it blooms after all... But you don't like the flowers at all. What are you going to do?

Maybe you can go around looking at everyone else's plants, wishing yours was like theirs, but knowing it can't happen because each plant is different. Sometimes you see dying plants and rush to water them. Sometimes the owner of the plant thanks you for that, sometimes the owner refuses to water their own plant and you struggle in vain to help it while no one tends to yours. Maybe you start to really hate how your plant looks, to the point you can't even look at it without being disgusted with it and with yourself, for being such a gardening failure.

And at some point you might even think "You know, there's literally no point in keeping this plant alive. What's so special about it, anyway? There's tons of better plants, and a lot of plants that look just the same; this plant hasn't inspired any great poems or art masterpieces, it's only looked at by a handful of people, and most of the time it's just sitting there on my windowsill doing nothing. I don't want to take care of it anymore! I might just get rid of it!"

And then you remember... What's the catch?

You can't just throw this plant away and get another one.

This is the special plant you were given for your birthday, it was born at the same day as you, brand new and unique. No one knew what it could grow into, not even you. And now? Well, you don't even know it now? Aren't you curious?

And in the end, this plant needs you ti take care of it simply because you are his owner. It's in your house every day, and other people have their own plants to tend to. In the end, you are responsible for this plant.

But you still hate it. So what do you do?

Well, you ask for help.

Someone can water your plant when you're too exhausted to. A plant specialist would give you advice on a kind of soil you want, and a plant doctor can help you change the shape of the blossoms you hate - or help you find beauty in them. Figuring out what's best for the plant may take time and resources - you might save up some money and buy a bigger pot for your plant, or even move to a sunnier location just to see it flourish. And then...

But wait, you say. That sounds like too much work, all for some stupid plant! I know it's mine and i'm responsible for it, but... What's so special about this plant, anyway?

Well, i say...

Don't you want to find out?


Author's notes

1) this might be the best thing i ever wrote2) the plant means your life or your body. or just "you'. you can give it your own meaning

3) the ending means that if you're curious you WILL find out what's special about this plant after you start caring properly for the plant and it blooms in its own special way. even if it might take ages

4) i needed this

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Author's notes

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